Saying Goodbye to Someone Who is Dying or has Passed Away

It may be significant to you to say goodbye to someone. If a loved one has passed away or is on the verge of passing away, whether they were a family member, friend, or coworker, you could have a strong urge to bid them farewell.

You may be fortunate and receive the chance, but for others, it is lost due to an unexpected death or simply not wanting to accept that the end is close.

The following advice can assist you in saying goodbye, aiding in your grieving process, and honoring the memory of your loved one. If they are still alive, these suggestions can assist you in saying goodbye to someone you care about in a way that is peaceful and comforting for both of you.

How to say good-bye when the end is close

It is important to consider both of your needs while deciding how to say farewell to a dying person. For instance, you might need to emotionally connect with one another and feel heard. However, a person who is dying may experience unpleasant feelings like dread, uncertainty, or rage due to their circumstances.

Be prepared with what you want to say or do, and be open-minded if the person you care about surprises you with their response. They can be more or less receptive to your farewell than you anticipate.

Here are some ideas to consider:

• As much as you can, be there for your loved one. Sometimes the most important thing is simply to keep this individual company, without engaging in conversation or action. The gift of time is the best present.
  

• Emphasize important, loving messages. Ira Byock, the author of "The Four Things that Matter Most," lists these crucial phrases to say to loved ones as one approaches death: "“Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you.” By expressing these feelings, you can both feel more at ease and whole.
  

• You can laugh. Although losing a loved one is sad, you can still tell jokes, tell stories, and remember your finest moments together.
  

• Enlist the aid of a hospice team. If your loved one is receiving hospice care, talk to the caregivers if you feel uncomfortable or they seem angry. The social worker and the spiritual support counselors can assist with saying goodbyes, helping you focus on feelings and issues, and assisting you in handling grief and loss.

How to bid someone farewell after their passing

You can experience deeper sorrow over their loss if you weren't able to say goodbye.

Here are some suggestions to lessen your sorrow and make things a little easier:

• Say Goodbye. Locate a private, peaceful area for yourself. It can be in your home or another location that held special meaning for the loved one. Bring a memento or photo that represents their life or your shared memories. Use this time to say whatever has to be said.
  

• A letter of farewell. You can release your mental or physical suffering by writing a letter, diary entry, poem, or email. When you write, address the individual you care about directly. Tell them all you wished you could have spoken to them when they were still living. Reread your work when you are plagued by the guilt of not having said goodbye. A journal that you keep when memories of your loved one come to you can also be started.
  

• Be in touch with others. To stay connected to your loved one, share memories of them with your friends and family.
  

Do you feel sad about a loss? In Los Angeles and Orange Counties, Signal Hill Hospice and Palliative Care provides a comprehensive range of grief support programs. For further information, please get in touch.

• Establish a ritual. A ritual can aid in your recovery and provide you with time to consider your loved one's life. You can lay flowers on their grave, release a biodegradable balloon bearing a message, or disperse their ashes in a special location (check local and state regulations). The ceremony can be performed either by yourself or by a small group of close friends and family.
  

• Create a vision board. Collect pictures of your loved one from magazines or other sources, then attach them to a poster board. A vision board can aid in bringing back pleasant memories and helping you feel connected to a loved one.
  

• Make a memorial. Donate money or donate your time to a charity that has a link to a loved one of yours. Or give money to have the name of your departed loved one inscribed on a bench in a park or another memorial that promotes a worthy cause.
  

• Evoke pleasant memories. By creating a playlist, watching a favorite TV show, reading a particular book, or looking through old photos, you can remember your loved one and feel closer to them. You can say goodbye by thinking back on your past interactions with them.

Dealing with the painful emotions that result from not saying goodbye to a person who has died

These techniques can be helpful if you still have regret or anxiety over not saying goodbye to your loved one before their passing:

• Reorient your thinking. Consider a pleasant time you shared with them or see them forgiving you. It takes practice, but switching your focus from negative to positive ideas is a potent method that can assist you in dealing with a variety of undesirable thinking.
  

• Get support. If you are having trouble coping with the emotional, mental, physical, or spiritual components of loss, or if you are still struggling with feelings of guilt, anger, regret, or resentment, a grief support group or individual grief therapy may be beneficial. You are entitled to bereavement support if your loved one received hospice care after passing away. Please inquire about this benefit with your hospice team.